the Hearts apparel

I got home that night, just like any other night and started my nightly routine as I had done several times before.  I had just finished with the girls, I have two young children five years apart and we’d just gotten done with our day.  I had rushed off work to shuttle my eldest to soccer practice all while dealing with the complaints of my youngest while in transit.  We had finished that and now we were off towards home. They put their book bags and shoes up and I hurried off to the kitchen to prepare a somewhat nutritious meal while doing homework and then baths and bedtime.  After kissing the girls goodnight, all that was left was me.  Standing in my room with so many more things that needed to be done but no more time.  I’d breathe deep, just appreciative of the fact that I made it through another day without incident.  I’d begin to get undressed, nothing unusual about that.  I had on cami, cardigan, and a skirt that day.  I removed my shoes first, then cardigan came off, then went that bra! Thank you!!  Then I loosened up my ponytail.  Yes, I said loosen and took it off.  By now my makeup had ran, my edges had been sweated out, and I no longer had on any bit of lipstick.  I thought nothing of it until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I chuckled at the site I had bestowed my eyes upon compared to the person that had left that very same house that very same morning. Then I had a fleeting moment of sadness and began to think of how I was alone and how, who would love me, the real me, after the makeup was gone, the hair was off, and the girls (my boobs), weren’t sitting so pretty anymore.  Then I thought about all the other things that we do as individuals to catch the eye of a potential suitor.  How we put so much work in, in the beginning before we ever even make to the end.  How so many of us would go to such great lengths………just to be loved.  Some of us would kill ourselves to be appealing!  We would no longer be ourselves to be appealing all for that little thing called love.  At the end of the day he/she would love you if they ever loved you and won’t if they never did! We all have those fleeting moments when our current being reminds us of what we don’t have and begin to cultivate these preposterous thoughts of what we might think we have to do to get it.  We all have are bad hair days, weeks, and sometimes months.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe everything takes work and effort to achieve but no more or no less effort then just being content in being.  Let’s stop overextended ourselves for others and start living for ourselves!!

The Hearts Apparel

 We dress ourselves in apparel plain

Adorn our garments with self-less vain

Embellishments of wit and sarcasm reign

To cloak the veil of guilt and shame

Accessorize our defeats with golds of chains

Swatches of colorless gallons of pain

Hues of shade that valance our gaze

Marble our thought to make clouds of rage

Shimmers of bliss that will eventually fade

Canvases of penciled prints cascades

Laced and velcoroed spikes of jade

Pierce our hearts with red ruby spades

Our diamonds reflect what we put out on stage

Rings of eternal hope were engaged

Ties and clips brushes of waves

Corseted tops with bruises raised

See through silk of the tattered lain

Color wheels of the once jovial slain

Long and short tears on the blacktop stain

Bleached and natural curls we play

Color our root to wash the grey away

Piercing’s tatted on our sweaters lay

Contoured cheeks with false lashes ablaze

Matted lips to kiss away our gains

Loss of self, lipoed to drain

Sutured souls of our petty coats weigh

Perfumed decor of pallets we praise

Manicured tips of melancholy our violin plays

Closets full of empty space

Metallic, pastels, neon’s to perpetuate

Our sheaves of pity, loathing, and self-hate

All to accompany our hearts apparel we placate

Sometime in 9-2016

4 thoughts on “the Hearts apparel

  1. So very true. I often wonder if I get dressed up for myself or others. Then some days I do it just to make myself feel better. Other days it’s just routine and going through the motions. My husband gets irritated and says I need to not be worried about what others think.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s sooooo many great points in this…but the part on..”I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror”…us as woman, mothers, sisters, daughters, and etc. Our roles play such a very important part of life itself and that glimpse in the mirror makes you ask yourself WHO AM I? especially after a day of full of this world. When we as woman look in that mirror WE MUST ENCOURAGE ourselves! Take that glimpse in the mirror and take it with pride! T keep sharing your post sweety!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree we have do a lot of our own healing! Being in a mental health profession, you see that a lot. A lot of victimization and a lot of getting suck in our “yuck,” no disrespect to anyone suffering because it is real, but we struggle significantly with lifting ourselves up to our own understanding of being and just being. Thanks for the comment Toya and keep on liking, sharing, commenting, and subscribing. I got some juices’ coming baby!!

      Like

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